


The Opposite of Indifference

by Amelita



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Canon Compliant, Heavy Angst, M/M, Read at Your Own Risk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:39:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amelita/pseuds/Amelita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We are only as blind as we choose to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[Secret Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgy7vEje5-w)

 

 

The rain was falling hard and steady against the window panes. It had been falling for days now in an unceasing rhythm. It was neither pounding, nor pouring, nor trickling, but rather drizzling; falling in a slow but steady stream.

Akihito watched the water run like fingers across the windowpanes. Each drop followed the path of the first, taking the path of least resistance. The droplets moved like a dance, running and stopping almost in a rhythm. It was dark outside and it was dark inside. Akihito had turned off the lights. When he was alone in the penthouse, he often felt like a reptile in a display box because everyone could see in and he could not see out. He felt especially claustrophobic because he had been confined to the apartment for several days. He had had no work, and the few leads he had, he had ignored. He was no longer desperate enough to sit outside in the pouring rain, risking his cameras and comfort, for the infinitesimally small chance of a some great picture that would break open his practically nonexistent career. He figured all the criminals with any sense were doing what he was doing; sitting tight and staying dry.

Except for one.

It was nearly midnight and he hadn’t seen Asami since the morning before. That wasn’t to say he hadn’t been home. There was a snubbed cigarette in an ashtray Akihito had just emptied yesterday. Some of the rice and miso was missing from the fridge. There were socks, boxers and a rumpled dress-shirt in the laundry, indicating that Asami had come home while Akihito was asleep and left before he woke. Perhaps if they slept in the same bed, Akihito might have noticed. But they didn’t sleep in the same bed. He had been tempted, on occasion, to crawl into the giant Swedish mattress with the 3000 thread count sheets and piles of pillows, instead of his own tiny twin with its paper thin mattress and painfully springy springs. Akihito wondered at times if Asami had done that one purpose to lure him into his bed, but he doubted Asami would ever be so subtle. If Asami wanted him in his bed, he would simply throw him over his shoulder and put him there.

Akihito leaned his cheek into his palm and sighed loudly. It was the eighth time in an hour, but there was no one there to either count or notice.

It bothered him and he told himself that it shouldn’t. Asami and he were nothing more than glorified roommates. Friends with benefits, except they weren’t really friends.

Which brought Akihito back around to the same question that had been bothering him for weeks, months…. years, from the moment he had met Asami to tell the truth. What was he to Asami? What role did he play in script of Asami’s life? Was he a background extra? A supporting player? A lead?

In the story of Asami Ryuichi's life, would the name Takaba Akihito even get an honorable mention?

The blond’s lip jutted out in an angry pout and he pushed up off the couch to take a frustrated walk around the penthouse. He ended up standing with his hand pressed against the balcony window. The rain trickled down between his fingers, disappearing on the glass behind his hand. He looked out into the city and wondered, for the hundredth time, where Asami was so late at night.

His gaze drifted to the newspaper sitting beside the older's man armchair and Akihito ripped his eyes away as if he didn’t want to be reminded. It didn’t stop the tendrils of jealousy from creeping up into his chest again. A few weeks ago, another photo of Asami and Azumi Ryouko had shown up in the society column. It wasn’t the first. Ever since that night that Akihito had seen them together, he couldn’t help but watch for them. Every few weeks, it seemed like yet another photo of them together showed up on the internet or in the celebrity gossip rags or in the newspaper. And it hurt.

It hurt so deeply.

It hurt because Akihito knew that Asami had the power to stop those photos from ever reaching the light of day. He had the power and the money to bury them so deep that no one would ever see them.

And he didn’t.

Which could only mean that Asami wanted to be seen with her, that he was proud to be seen in public with her. And even if it was only some kind of strategic powerplay, it still hurt, because he had never, not once allowed himself to be seen in public with Akihito. Asami might roll down a limousine window and invite him in for a private meeting, or meet with him in his office, but he had always been absolutely careful never to walk down a street with him, or sit down in a restaurant together. Certainly he would never take him to a movie premiere, dressed in his best, with his arm placed protectively around him, his hand resting possessively in the small of his back…. not like he had with Azumi. Akihito shuddered as if trying to forget the memory, but he couldn’t. He hadn’t been, not since that night.

The image of how perfect they had looked together had worked its way under his skin like a splinter. The pain flared up, the memory coming back to him and all hours of the day and night and he would try to distract himself by doing or saying something outloud, anything to jolt his brain off track and forget about it. But he couldn’t and it was there just waiting for him to feel insecure or vulnerable so it could rear its ugly head and remind him of the fact that Asami didn’t want to be seen with him in public.

Asami didn’t want to be seen with him in public.

He was ashamed of him.

Akihito was his seedy little rentboy; his dirty, tawdry affair that was kept in the dark and hidden away behind closed doors. Whatever it was that they had, Asami didn’t want anyone to know about it.

It embarrassed him.

Akihito, embarrassed him.

Tears burned in his eyes and he pressed his palms to them as he shook his head side to side like it was an Etch-A-Sketch and that was all he need to do to forget.

Even if it wasn’t HIM, but rather the taboo nature of a homosexual relationship, it was still obvious that even two years later, Asami had no interest in bringing Akihito into his world. He was still just someone Asami kept apart from his daily life and all the rich, powerful, beautiful he surrounded himself with. People that were nothing like Akihito. Stupid Akihito, who wore funny boxers, and bunny slippers, who kept Asami’s home and cooked his meals and warmed his bed. Who would have given anything for a photo of them together. Who wanted nothing more than to walk down the street holding Asami’s hand for the world to see. Who didn’t even warrant a phone call when Asami was out all night with his girlfriend. Tears welled in his eyes and blurred his vision until he angrily swept them away. At least those drops he could control, not like the weather outside and not like Asami. There was nothing he could do about the rain and nothing he could do about Asami.

He padded down the hall to his bedroom, pausing just once to gaze into Asami’s bedroom. It was empty and dark, the bed perfectly made and not a thing out of place. He was probably sleeping somewhere else tonight. In someone else’s bed. Probably Azumi’s. It wasn’t as if Asami hadn’t admitted he was bisexual and bisexual meant he liked both men and women. One of those things was not like the other. Akihito was not a woman. So he couldn’t give Asami everything he needed. They weren’t officially ‘together’, so it wasn’t like Asami was cheating on him.

But it still hurt like he was.

Akihito held himself by the elbows because it made his chest hurt less as he made his way to his own bedroom.

He stripped out of his tank top and dropped his boxers to the floor. He should have stopped to put them in the hamper but he figured it didn’t matter since no one but him would see the mess.

Laying in bed alone, he listened to the rain in the dark. And it should have lulled him to sleep but he couldn’t, so he just lay there and listened until he lost track of time. It might have been thirty minutes or it might have been three hours before he finally heard the sound he was really listening for.

The front door opened and closed. Heavy footsteps moved down the hall. He heard the clink of ice in a glass and a decanter of whiskey being poured. The leather armchair squeaked as Asami sat down. He could imagine him clearly, sitting on his throne, smoking a cigarette and drinking whiskey because far-be-it from Asami to actually go and make himself a decent dinner. Akihito contemplated getting up and going to see if he needed anything but…. he had probably already eaten dinner. With her. Akihito stuffed his pillow under his head and rolled over. If Asami was hungry, he could get it himself. Akihito wasn’t his wife, no matter how neatly he played the role, and he certainly wasn't making him dinner after an evening with his mistress.

Long minutes passed. Akihito imagined him reading the paper Akihito had left there for him. He would browse the business section first, then stocks, then politics and then the tech section. He wanted so badly to go to him but he was still angry and upset. Finally he heard Asami stand and walk towards his bedroom, but Akihito’s heart stuttered in his chest as he heard Asami open the door to his own room, pause and then move down the hall to stand in front of Akihito’s door. He seemed to stand there for a long time as if deciding whether or not to turn the knob. Akihito vaguely wondered if he would check first to make sure it was locked before just shooting it open.

Softly and carefully, as if Asami was trying not to wake him, the doorknob turned and the door opened. Soft light fell over the bottom of Akihito’s bed. Goosebumps broke out over all the bare skin that was now exposed to Asami's gaze. He wished he had pulled the covers up over his upper body but it was too late now because if he moved Asami would know he was awake, and then he would have to talk to him and he didn’t know what he would say.

Akihito lay there, naked and barely covered by the blankets as Asami stood in the doorway. He didn’t move. He breathed in and out slowly and kept his eyes closed as if he were sleeping.

Asami just watched him.

He just stood there and watched him sleep.

It was incredibly creepy and stalkerish.

Akihito wondered how many times Asami had done this.

His heart thudded in his chest as he heard Asami slowly moved to stand over him. He bent then and caught the edge of the blanket and brought it up to cover Akihito’s shoulders. When his fingertips brushed the back of Akihito’s neck he couldn’t help but flinch and turn to meet Asami’s unwavering gaze with startled blue eyes.

It seemed as though a fire had been lit in their amber depths and Akihito moved to roll over and face him more fully but suddenly Asami’s palm flattened over the hollow of his back, keeping him pinned in place. The cover he had just tucked over Akihito’s body was now dragged down to pool at his feet and Akihito was left naked in the dim light coming from the hall. He could almost feel the heat of Asami’s gaze as it traveled up his bare legs, thighs, buttocks. Akihito tried to roll over again but Asami’s hand stopped him again. The bed bent beneath the older man's weight as he moved to crawl and straddle Akihito’s supine body. Akihito could do nothing but stare blindly forward at the wall.

He felt wholly and totally exposed, vulnerable, not even braced on his knees, but pressed down on his belly with the weight of Asami’s hand on his back. He shuddered as he felt Asami’s spit slicked fingers nudge against his opening. It hurt as they entered him, a little too fast and a little too rough and a little too much. And it was just the way he liked it, and Asami knew it.

But did he like it that way, because he did, or because it was the only way he had ever known?

He gasped as Asami’s finger crooked inside him and his penis twitched. It swelled where it was bent down and trapped between his legs and Asami’s other hand moved to stroke it to full hardness. He hated the way his whimper sounded in the silence. It was followed by the sound of Asami reaching into his bedside table and uncapping the lotion bottle Akihito kept there. For no reason. Cause his skin got dry sometimes. That was all.

Thick fingers dragged on his rim as Asami eased them out of him. Spit was never a very good lube. It was just a bit sticky and pulled on the skin as Asami moved inside him, it made his hole feel tender and raw before Asami had even entered him. Thank fully Asami never skimped on the lube when the main event came. It was the only way someone as small as Akihito could take someone as large as Asami. Lots and lots of lube.

The slot between his thighs felt wet as Asami pressed up and against him, his thumbs slotted in the plump of Akihito’s bottom, spreading his crack wide so his fingered hole was open and exposed. The slide in was slow, but it stretched Akihito so fast and so completely and it made his insides burn. Asami’s hand stayed in the hollow of his back, at the same time, rubbing soothingly with his thumb and dominating him completely. Asami stretched him wider and wider, finally hilting and then retreating, before pressing back inside. He moved hard and insistent, conquering the natural resistance of Akihito’s muscles easily, until he was fucking into a space Asami had cored into Akihito's body with his cock; a space made by him, a space that was only for him.

There was a place like that in Akihito's chest too, centered under his left breastbone.

He could feel his own cock, hard and leaking a puddle of precum into the covers between his legs. He wanted to close his thighs to increase the friction but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything but lay there like a doll with its legs spread and take it. The way Asami was raking the head of his cock across Akihito’s prostate, it didn’t take him long. He came in a long clenching grunt and soaked the sheets his hands were fisting in.

Asami laid down completely on top of Akihito until it was almost hard to breathe, his face pressed into the hollow between his shoulderblades and his fingers digging into Aki’s hips. He fucked into him hard, punching his fucked out sex in a way he never did before Akihito came. It seemed to Akihito that Asami enjoyed fucking him more, when Akihito was done, and it was only to please himself. But then that wasn’t fair, was it? Because Asami always made sure he came first.

Akihito’s pelvis was shoved forward and back as he lay there, face down like a doll letting Asami fuck him as hard as he wanted without complaint. He knew there would be bruises in the morning. His own cock was soft and limp and useless and laying in a puddle of his own spend. He had never felt like less of a man. Asami wouldn’t take him out for a nice dinner. He wouldn’t hold his hand in public. But he would do this.

Perhaps this was all Asami wanted him for.

Perhaps the reason Asami kept him around was because he never asked for more. Because he was easy.

Because he didn’t respect him.

When Asami finally came inside him, the warm seed filled his insides and Akihito winced as he withdrew. His buttocks felt as though they had been tenderized by Asami’s hard hips. Cum leaked from his ass just adding to the growing puddle. He felt dirty. He felt used. So he just lay there in the mess making no effort to get out of it. He turned his face away, feigning indifference.

He wondered idly why Asami had never used a condom with him. Maybe he just assumed Akihito would never sleep with anyone else. Too bad Akihito didn’t know the same about Asami. He supposed it was a bit late to insist on it now. The cat was out of the bag, as it were, out of the bag and into his unprotected asshole. He wondered bitterly if Asami used protection with _her_.

Asami used the corner of his clean sheet to wipe at the mess between Akihito’s legs and it annoyed him to no end that Asami had come into his room and ruined his sheets and now he got to go to his nice clean bed and go to sleep and…

“Hey!” He cried out as Asami rolled him and lifted him into his arms.

Asami only smirked at him with his eyebrow. Asami was the only one who could smirk by just moving an eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” He struggled to be let down but it was pointless. Asami would let him down when he was good and ready and not a minute before.

“Putting you where you belong,” Asami said quietly and certainly.

He dropped him then, on the side of the bed closest to the window, away from the door.

Akihito watched the muscles play across his broad back as he sat on the opposite side of the bed and finished undressing. He stripped his shirt and his pants and his socks and shoes. He lay down and rolled to face Akihito faster than the boy had expected and for a moment it shocked him how close Asami’s face was to his. Their eyes met and shadows from outside ghosted across Asami’s features.

Akihito wanted to speak. He wanted to ask him where he had been. He wanted to ask him who he had been with. But the words died in his throat. He rolled over to stare out the window. Asami’s hand moved to splay over his belly, holding him still as Asami moved up behind him. Akihito tensed, feigning indifference yet again, but he didn’t move away from the warmth of the larger man's body.

It was still raining outside. Drizzling. The drops fell one by one, trickling steadily down the glass following the same path they had all day long, and the day before that, and the day before that.... reminding Akihito of all the things he couldn’t change.

-

 


	2. Chapter 2

He awoke in the night unsettled and thirsty.

Slowly shifting to keep from waking Asami, Akihito extracted himself from beneath a sleep heavy arm and made his way into the shadowed kitchen. He fumbled drowsily for a cup and then belated reached for the light switch. It was only after he had clicked it up and nothing changed that his sleep addled brain began to wake up.

Akihito flipped the switch once, down and then up again. Nothing.

But for the light coming through the balcony windows, the apartment was wholly and completely dark. There was nothing from the microwave or the coffee maker or the oven clock. The power was out.

Moving to stand closer to the balcony window with his glass of water, Akihito peered out at the buildings around him. There were lights on in all of them. That was strange he thought to himself. Blackouts generally went a few city blocks at a time. It would be strange for just one building… suddenly a wave of sheer terror swept over him as he noticed that the latch to the balcony door was open. It has been closed when he went to bed, he knew because he had armed the alarm system and it wouldn’t arm if a door was open. Perhaps Asami? But he knew the answer already as he turned around to see a masked man standing in the middle of the living room.

He screamed, not for himself, but to wake Asami. It was already too late for him.

As the sound of his scream rose, jarringly loud with fever pitch, the man lowered his gun and pulled the trigger. The bullet struck him in his belly and knocked him back against the window. The glass in his hand shattered on the floor and water wet his skin where he sat. Akihito stared at his lower abdomen dumbly. He always thought it would hurt more to get shot. He was hardly bleeding.

That was when Akihito realized it wasn’t a bullet. He pulled the tranquilizer dart from his skin. He was vaguely aware of a barb that tore him as it exited but the pain was vague. He pressed his hand to the floor and pushed off, meaning to spin and hide behind the couch, and hopefully make his way to the door. But his movements were jerky and uncoordinated, like a marionette with the strings cut. He sprawled on the floor. The man in the mask watched Akihito struggle towards the door. He did not intervene. He reloaded his dart gun disinterestedly, as if he knew he wasn’t going to need it. Moments later, Akihito had collapsed face down. It was hard even to breathe. The weight of his body on his lungs felt insurmountable. The man’s boots came to stand before his fading vision. They were black, military grade and one of the metal eyelets was beginning to tear from the leather.

That was the last thing he remembered when he woke gasping for air. It felt much easier and he gratefully drew breath after breath in, as the room spun around him. His neck hurt from the bend forward and he slowly lifted it as he realized he was in a sitting position. He gagged as nausea overwhelmed. He opened his eyes and closed them because the light made everything worse.

A familiar voice talked him through the worst of it, encouraging him, “Keep breathing Akihito, it will fade.”

The carousel slowed down and finally Akihito was allowed off. His dizzy eyes settled on the only thing that seemed still.

Asami sat in front him, less than a meter away, barechested with his hands on a table. There was a gun resting on the table between them. It was an old fashioned revolver, similar to the ones Akihito had seen in Asami’s private collection. Akihito wondered why Asami didn’t move to pick it up. He thought to do it himself and then noticed that his own hands were on the table too. They were strapped down with metal cuffs. His waist was strapped to the chair and he could feel the cold grip of metal around his ankles too. He wore only the short boxers he had been captured in.

His voice sound froggy in his head, “What happened? Where are we?”

Asami shook his head. His fists were clenched inside the cuffs that bound his wrists to the table, “I don’t know. Are you alright?”

His head was clearing. He nodded slowly. The room swam a bit and he instantly regretted the movement.

“You’re half my size and the fuckers used the same dose on you that they did on me,” Asami peppered the statement with cursewords and Akihito’s eyes widened in surprise. He seemed more angry about the tranquilizer dosage than the fact that they were being hostage.

“Do you know who did this?”

“No. Do you remember when I taught you how to get out of a pair of handcuffs? Do you have enough slack to get loose?”

Akihito looked at his wrists. He couldn’t move them even a millimeter. The metal was tight to the skin. It was like a mesh that adhered perfectly to the shape of his wrists. Even by dislocated his thumb, there was no way he would be able to get the widths of his hands out the space fully occupied by his wrists. And Akihito had very small wrists. He shook his head. His eyes drifted to Asami’s wrists. There was blood on the mesh, trickling down still from raw wounds. His situation was just as hopeless but it hadn’t stopped him from trying. He had obviously woken long before Akihito had. He laid his palms down flat on the table and that was when he found something under his right hand. It was a small circular piece of plastic. Without thinking, he moved to try and feel what it was and it clicked under his fingers. It was a button of some kind, but pressing and releasing it didn’t appear to do anything.

Akihito tore his gaze from Asami’s and it moved around the room uncertainly. They were in some kind of filthy concrete room. It was very small. There was trash littered on the floor and rain water puddled in one corner, no light except for the bare bulb dangling over their heads. They were underground, that much was clear. As Akihito’s eyes adjusted, he began to make out shapes. There was something on the wall above Asami’s head. Akihito squinted at it.

“What is it?” Asami asked trying to move to see it, but it was impossible.

Akihito tried to describe it, “A screen of some kind, like a cell phone or a clock. There’s wires and cylinders… oh…”

His voice trailed off as his throat constricted.

Asami understood immediately, “Is there a countdown running?”

Akihito shook his head, not trusting himself to speak yet. Next to the bomb there seemed to be a camera. He could see the lense circle narrow as it focused.

“Someone is watching us,” he said softly

Asami’s eyes narrowed as a disembodied voice lilted in over hidden speakers, “Clever boy you’ve got there Ryuichi, I may call you Ryuichi, mayn’t I? After all, we were nearly family. Brothers in fact, by law anyway.”

Asami’s mouth hardened into an angry grimace as Akihito’s eyes widened in confusion.

“Thats right clever boy, I thought Ryuichi here was going to be my brother-in-law. Everyone did, but my poor sister more than anyone. Poor little Azumi. Yes… but what she didn’t know was that she was part of a set. A matched pair of lovers. Asami couldn’t be satisfied with one lover, he had to have two, like a pair of earrings, or matched luggage. He had one for public and one for private. Do you know which one you are?”

Akihito swallowed hard. His frightened gaze fixed on Asami for guidance but Asami gave him none. Those golden eyes gave nothing away. His face was like an enamel mask, hard and unmoving but for the clenching muscle in his jaw.

“Answer me,” The jovial voice had turned hard as steel.

The boy fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, but his eyes flicked to the explosives on the wall over Asami’s head as he answered softly, “Private. I’m the lover he kept…. private.”

The voice became gleeful, mocking almost, “Yes, thats right clever boy, you were the lover Asami kept hidden away, tucked inside his penthouse away from prying eyes. His dirty little secret. Hardly anyone knew of your existence, Asami was very careful to keep it that way. Not even darling Azumi knew about Asami’s little housekeeper. Staying at home like a good boy, keeping his house, washing Asami’s underwear, making his breakfast and spreading your legs for him whenever he asked. I wouldn’t have known, but I had Ryuichi under surveillance for quite some time now, almost since the beginning of Azumi’s relationship with him. I thought he would eventually kick you to the curb, though you were such a pretty, obedient little wifey, I could understand why he was slow to do so. Looks, money, power, those are the kinds of people Asami surrounds himself with, and yet he always came home to you. I asked myself why, and the only thing I can come up with is that Asami can’t fuck someone he respects. He could never indulge in all those filthy, perverted acts with someone like my sister. He respected her far too much. She was his Madonna, you were his whore.”

Akihito flinched at the dirty word, his cheeks burning bright, tears shimmering in his eyes as the voice drug out all of his worst fears and insecurities and bared his soul to the harsh light of Asami’s eyes. Akihito couldn’t bear to look at the handsome man so he kept his eyes on the table as he fidgeted uncomfortably in his chair.

The voice seemed to be enjoying his shame, “I don’t blame you Ryuichi, of course, my tastes run very similar. One woman is hardly enough to satisfy. But my beautiful sister was perfect, she was smart, intelligent, well read, well educated and accomplished, not to mention stunning beautiful She was the perfect arm candy for a man like Asami and he was perfect for her. They were the cream of Tokyo society. Two years, Asami never went to an event with any woman but her. Every dinner, every party, every society and business gathering, he asked the lovely Azumi to accompany him. And whenever she had a gala or a fundraiser or a red carpet event, Asami stood gallantly at her side. The perfect couple, everyone said so. Everyone thought they would get married. Everyone expected it, I’m sure most especially Azumi. And then one day, she gets kidnapped by Asami’s enemies. Can you imagine how she felt?”

Akihito didn’t have to imagine. His eyes flicked to Asami’s hard face and then back to the table as he murmured, “Terrified.”

“Yes, I imagine she was quite terrified being held by a bunch of half rate terrorists, But I’m sure she had faith that her dear Ryuichi would cross heaven and hell to get her back, would give them anything they asked for to assure her safety. Isn’t that right? Don’t you believe that Ryuichi would do the same for you?”

Aki nodded his head uncertainly. His tongue felt giant in his mouth.

“Of course you do. How sweet. So the kidnappers called and demanded Asami give them a massive stock of anti-aircraft missiles, knowing of course that Asami is the foremost arms trafficker in Southeast Asia and it would be easy for him to meet their demands. They told him unless he met their demands by midnight last night, they would blow sweet Ryouko’s pretty little head off. Would you like to know what your dear Asami said to them?”

Akihito met Asami’s gaze and saw a flicker of something that looked like fear cross his hard face.

“He said, ‘Go ahead’, and hung up on them.”

Asami opened his mouth to speak and then shut it with a click of his teeth. For the first time Akihito had ever seen, he broke eye contact, jerking his gaze away and to the right. Akihito was horrified. His heart leapt into his throat.

The voice mocked him, “What a heartless bastard, don’t you agree Akihito? Do you still think Asami would come for you if you were kidnapped?”

“Let Akihito go. Your grievance is with me,” Asami’s voice graveled.

“Patience Ryuichi, patience. I won’t harm your little boytoy, not if he doesn’t want me too.”

Akihito’s forehead furrowed into vertical lines that mirrored Asami’s perfectly.

The voice drawled, “So I thought to myself, what punishment would be appropriate for such a man? A man who would lead an innocent girl on for so long, pretending to all the world that she meant something to him, only to turn his back on her in her hour of need and leave her to be slaughtered by his enemies? It occurred to me though, that perhaps there is more to this man than meets the eye. Perhaps, there is someone Asami would cross heaven and hell for, even if it wasn’t Azumi. I was genuinely curious, so I decided, rather than just shoot you outright Ryuichi, we are going to play a game instead. The rules are simple. Akihito, you can end the game and walk away. I won’t be responsible for killing an innocent. I’m no murderer afterall, not like dear Ryuichi here. Akihito, all you have to do is press that button there under your right hand when I instruct you to do so. The moment you press it, your restraints will release and the door will open. You will be free to leave, but moments after the doors close behind you, Ryuichi will be blown into bits.”

Akihito gasped and jerked his hand in the metal cuff, drawing his fingers back and into a ball, all far away from the button as possible.

The voice chided him, “Now, now, don’t be so hasty. You haven’t heard Asami’s part.”

With a metallic click, the cuff holding Asami’s right wrist to the table fell open and his hand was freed. He calmly lifted it and placed it outside of the cuff. Akihito could see the fierce determination on his placid face and knew he was assessing every angle of their situation in an attempt to free them. One free hand made things no less dire though as the digital clock behind Asami’s head came to life, lighting up with large red numbers.

Akihito gasped as he saw that there was only one minute programmed into the timer.

“Thats right, lets not dilly dally. Ryuichi dear, pick up the gun.”

Asami did it. The revolver looked deadly in his masculine hand.

“Ryuichi, there are six chambers and one bullet. You can point the gun at either your own head or Akihito’s. When you pull the trigger, the timer will stop. If you attempt to escape, do not pull the trigger, or the timer runs down, the bomb goes off and you will both die in the explosion. Akihito, before each round begins, you will have the option of pressing your button and walking away and leaving Ryuichi to his death. If you do not press it, then the countdown begins and you will no longer have the option to walk away. At that point, your fate will rest in Ryuichi’s callous hands,” the voice cackled maliciously, “That button is not looking so bad now is it? Would you like to press it? Last chance pretty boy.”

Akihito inhaled sharply, curling his fingers even more tightly into themselves. His nails bit into his palms and the edge of the metal coff bit into his wrist. It hurt but the pain kept him grounded.

His eyes met Asami’s, flicked to the revolver and then back to Asami. He shook his head.

Asami spoke then, “Press the button Akihito. Get out of here. You don’t belong here.”

The unspoken words ‘I do’ rang in the air but still Akihito shook his head. He wasn’t going to press it.

The voice sounded incredulous, “Are you sure? Don’t be a fool boy, not like my sister. He doesn’t love you, he doesn’t even respect you enough to be seen in public with you. You are a toy to him, a pretty bauble and discarded like refuse when he’s done with you. He’s not worth dying for. He’ll chose himself over you, every time. He’ll put that gun against your head and pull the trigger without hesitation. You know this. Press the button Akihito.”

Akihito flinched from the angry, powerful words as his worst fears were spoken out loud. He shook his head again even as he curled in on himself.

“Very well then. I won’t say I told you so. You’re a lucky man Asami, he seems to love you, even after everything I just said. Little idiot. Let the game begin. Asami, one in six, what will you do? His head or yours?”

Without hesitation, Asami lifted the gun and pressed it to his own head. Before Akihito could gasp, he had pulled the trigger.

Asami didn’t even flinch. It was Akihito who jerked in surprise, blinking, and struggling to process how quickly it had happened. The clock was stopped at 32 seconds.

The voice whined, “Aw. No fun. Don’t you even want to think about it?”

Asami didn’t answer. His amber panther eyes were unblinking, focused on Akihito.

“Well Akihito, your turn. Press the button, or not? He might just be lulling you into a false sense of security. There’s a 20% chance someone will die on the next shot, will he gamble your life or his? What do you think? Want to press that button now?”

The boy shook his head, but his eyes were fixed on Asami’s this time.

“Fine. The countdown begins.”

The clock began to tick down. Asami raised the gun to his temple again. The black barrel shone, dark as his hair. Asami’s gaze was unwavering. They shone like spun gold. Akihito whispered softly, “Asami please…”

The boy’s entire body flinched again as the trigger clicked on an empty barrel. Asami calmly laid the revolver on the table

The clock had stopped at 47 seconds.

The voice sounded amused, “You could at least pretend to think about it. Deliberate a bit. Have you no sense of drama?”

Asami said nothing and neither did Akihito.

“Two empty chambers down. Four left. The bullet could be in any one of those. Its a hollow point you know, meant to expand and break apart as it enters. It will shred that sharp mind you are so proud of Ryuichi. There’s a chance you could survive it, but you’d be a vegetable for the rest of your life. I wonder if your pretty boy would stick around to change your diapers? What do you think Akihito, want to stick around for another round? Will he blow his brains out, or yours?”

Akihito swallowed hard as he looked at Asami. His voice hardly shook, “I’m not leaving you.”

Asami urged him again. His voice was as smooth as if he was asking Akihito to pass the butter at breakfast, “Press the button Akihito.”

“Yes, press the button, loverboy,” the voice echoed mockingly.

Aki’s voice cracked then, “No.”

“Fine. Again.”

The timer beeped behind them, coming to life at 1:00 and then 0:59, 0:58, 0:57, 0:56.... Akihito eyes fixed wildly on it and then the movement of Asami’s arm as he raised the gun, bent his elbow and then pressed the barrel to his neck, snug to the carotid artery. Asami had obviously decided that he wasn’t going to end up a vegetable. The bullet would rip his throat open on its new trajectory. He’d bleed out almost instantly.

Akihito panted with fear, his nostrils flaring, “No, Asami, no…”

‘Click,’ went the trigger and Akihito’s entire body spasmed in response. He began to shake violently, squeezing his eyes closed as a mixture of both relief and terror flowed through him.

The voice sounded surprised, “Hmm. Halfway there boys. I have to admit I’m impressed, I expected you to turn on each other by now. Perhaps I underestimated the strength of your affection for one another. I wonder if it will survive another match. You aren’t looking so good Akihito, looking a little pale there. Want to press that button and get out of here? You don’t have to do this, you are blameless in this situation, as blameless as my sister, despite sharing an utterly pitiable taste in men.”

Akihito felt as though his throat were closing up and his lungs felt like deflated balloons in his chest and he couldn’t get any air in. His entire body was shaking, his face painfully white. Asami ignored the voice and spoke to him, “Take a breath Akihito, take a deep breath. Now another. Just breathe for me.”

Slowly his violent shaking stopped as Akihito focused on Asami’s soothing commands. Finally he felt his panic attack ease and slowly, he opened his eyes. Asami sat there across from the table, in the same place as before, and yet he seemed closer than before. His face was calm, reassuring, even expressionless as before, Akihito could see it in his eyes. His golden panther eyes, that betrayed everything, even as his face gave away nothing. How had he not seen it before?

The voice came between them, “Enough dilly dallying, I’m getting bored. Akihito, button?”

He shook his head.

“No? Ok Ryuichi, you’ve got a two in three chance of surviving this round. How you like those odds?”

The older man said nothing, but the timer came to life again anyways. The red numbers beeped as the clock began to count the seconds. Asami raised the gun to his throat again. He fixed his gaze on Akihito’s tortured expression and spoke in that deep timbered voice that was almost as familiar to Akihito as his own, “Close your eyes.”

The timer clicked the seconds away, but Akihito shook his head in refusal.

Asami leaned forward, his gaze intense, “Close your eyes baby.”

The endearment shook him to his core and he obeyed, even as tears began to stream from beneath his lashes. His lips trembled as he waited and the sound of the empty ‘Click’ caused him to begin to sob. His slender body shuddered as he cried, unable to wipe the tears and snot from his face with his wrists still cuffed to the table..

“What is it about him Ryuichi, that my sister didn’t have? I’m genuinely curious. You’d never have taken a bullet for her, of that I’m sure, or anyone else. What is about this boy that makes him so special, hmm? What is it about those pretty blue eyes that makes you willing to risk your life for him? How far are you willing to go? How about 50:50 odds? Are those baby blues worth a one in two shot? How about it Akihito, what do you think, are you worth it?”

His vision was blurred as he searched for Asami’s face.

Asami spoke softly, “Let him go. Please.”

Akihito had never heard him say ‘please’ before. Not ever. Apparently the voice was as surprised as he was, “Oh! A please! I guess you are worth it. I assume you are staying Akihito?”

He nodded, even as his fingers curled and uncurled, cramping from the tight fists he had been holding.

“Ok then. Ryuichi what’ll it be? Fifty, fifty my friend.”

The timer sprang to life as Asami raised the gun again, pressing it in the hollow below his chin. Akihito hated that he sounded like a frightened child when he spoke, “Please Asami, don’t do this. Think of your life.”

Asami’s gaze was cool unwavering, “I am.”

He didn’t even flinch away from the barrel but Akihito screamed aloud as he pulled the trigger and his terrified cry rang loud in the rooms, echoing off the white walls. It all but drowned out the empty ‘Click’ of the revolver’s rotation. It had been empty. They had all been empty. That meant the next one wouldn’t be.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God…” his voice sounded shattered and foreign in his ears as he panted for breath. Even Asami’s breathing was a bit strained at this point.

The voice allowed them to compose themselves before speaking again, “My goodness that went fast. Last round boys, last chamber and well, we all know its full. Someone will die on the next shot. Will it be you Akihito? Or will you walk and leave Asami to die a fiery death? It would be quicker that way you know.”

He shook his head, but his eyes were steady on Asami’s, “I’m here. To the end.”

There was an annoyed huff and the a sarcastic drawl, “You must either really love him, or really want to see him blow his brains out. Oh well. Boys, its been a real pleasure. This evening has certainly surpassed my expectations. I never expected you to make it this far. Asami Ryuichi and Takaba Akihito, the cruel King of Tokyo and his pretty Pet. There must be more to the two of you than meets the eye. I applaud you even as I pity you; to find love, and lose it. But on the other hand, so many in this world never get the chance to say goodbye to the ones they love. I certainly didn’t. Asami, would you like tell him anything?”

Asami shook his head even while Akihito’s eyes pleaded with him.

The voice questioned, “No, you don’t even want to tell him you love him? Why ever not?”

Asami’s voice was soft, “Because he knows.”

Akihito’s face crumpled at the words and tears spilled over his lashes and down onto his pale, frightened cheeks. Asami’s face never changed, but his eyes burned like fire as he raised the gun to his throat and settled the barrel into the soft skin there. Akihito’s lips trembled as he watched the timer begin to click again. One minute. All they had was one minute left together.

He begged, “Please Asami, let it be me. You are important. You have people who depend on you. You MATTER. I’m nothing, nobody. I’m not worth it.”

For the first time, pain spasmed across Asami’s face. His handsome features contorted into a savage expression, “You, are everything, to me. Everything. _Never_ forget that.”

The gunfire sounded loud as an explosion. The sound of it, ringing in his ears, would haunt Akihito for the rest of his life.

It was the sound of Asami, defining the opposite of indifference.

-

 

[Roulette](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ2nCGawrSY)

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